Chapter 1: Breaking News

You’re hanging out with Pearl Gervin, the one and only, and if you’re just tuning in with HHJ radio… it’s been months since the NBA lockout turned sour and the entire 2011-2012 NBA season was cancelled.  We all figured a complete NBA lockout was eminent, but who knew the dictator-like actions David Stern and the owners would prompt a massive exodus of top NBA talents like Dwayne Wade, Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, and Kevin Durant.  In total 65 top tier NBA players have retired from the NBA. "If this is the way the league is going to operate, some of us don’t want to be a part of it" Derek Fisher remarked hours before he announced his retirement from the NBA. There has been much speculation since these world wind events started.  It would not be crazy to say that we as fans of the NBA, and fans of basketball just want to see great players play great basketball, but at this moment in time I wouldn’t be surprised if next season was cancelled in mad dash to replace the talent that’s been lost. I myself seem to drift into my living room every week night, sit in front of my big screen TV in my jammies and cry like a starving newborn with no teet while ESPN classic games stale the screen I yell at as if my strained vocal cords won’t annoy my lovely wife and will bring about a new ending to a game I’ve already watched 15 times.  It’s ridiculous, it’s simply ridiculous and we as fans shouldn’t have to--wait a minute, folks there has been a HUGE development.  We're going to Jake Shuttlesworth right now with this huge breaking news.  Jake, are you there, can you hear me Jake?

"I'm here Pearl, and have I got some news for our fans. I just got out of secured and very secret meeting filled with names like Derek Fisher, Theo Ratliff, Phil Jackson, Baron Davis and various other recent NBA retirees. And what I just heard was perhaps the last thing I expected Pearl. Months ago when the NBA lost the bulk of its major talent to a mass retirement no one really knew what was going on. Wait a minute here’s Dwayne Wade. Dwayne, would you mind summing up the just of what was just discussed in that meeting for the fans?”

            “Jake, yeah man, anything for HHJ.  But where’s that bowtie I sent you man?”

“Man you know I wore that thing to the Christmas party last year and got duck sauce all over it…I’m a sucker for duck sauce D what can I say? Anyway, word on that announcement Dwayne?”

“Oh yeah, I Dwayne Wade am proud to announce that myself the collective players and various other proponents have created a new professional basketball league, and that that league is the United Basketball Association."

“UBA? Dwayne if you don’t mind me asking, how is this even possible? I mean how did this even come together?

“Well Jake, it was obvious to me and many other players that our talent was not appreciated, and our fans were suffering because of it.  I believe it was Mid-October, we had a meeting with the league and we all left feeling frustrated. One of us, I think it was Brandon Jennings, said we should just start our own NBA. And it was kind of like, wow can we really do that? So we got together and played with some numbers, if we all donated a bit of our income to a pool and we’re willing to take some significant pay cuts at least for a few years our estimated gross potential was through the roof.”

“And it would be completely player friendly.”

“Right Jake.”

“So do you guys have any solid figures as far as number of games, teams and such?”

“We’re still hashing some numbers out, but we’re looking at 13-15 teams playing a 70 game season. We have a solid pool of talent and plan to begin tryouts in the very near future. All and all I’m really excited. We’ve got some great guys who’d love to be involved from coaches, to radio announcers, endorsers; we’ve really got a lot of avenues opening up.  I think people are going to be surprised when the season begins.  I really can’t wait.”

“I don’t think I’d be to far off in saying we’re all pretty excited to see UBA take off Dwayne, any last comments for the folks out there?”

“I just want you all to know that the UBA is here for you.  We’re going to offer quality basketball with reasonable ticket prices. The UBA first goal is to show the fans that we really care about and appreciate all it is they’ve done over the years Jake, without them there is no us.”

“That’s a beautiful sentiment Dwayne.  Thank you. Well this is Jake Shuttlesworth and you heard it here first the UBA is coming to town near you very soon. And I for one can’t wait, thanks Dwayne and back to you Pearl…aye D did you ever ask Gabby about her cousin for me? What? We still rolling…

A new professional league, where the fans come first, headed by the players? Ah sookie, sookie now. I hope all you listeners are prepared; I have a very good feeling about this. It just goes to show you, no one man is to powerful to lose it all in a flash. This is Pearl Gervin with HHJ radio saying: practice like its game time, and play like its life our death, until next time Bless.