Vince Carter...Half man-Half amazing?

I don't know if you've noticed (although as a Vince Carter fan i surely have) but Vince Carter has been doing a lil hopping in Dallas. He may not be half man half amazing yet, but he's definitely showing glimpses of what that Marc Cuban money can do for ya!

Lebron Over John Lucas

And when i say over I literally mean over, like up and over.  My my...

Golden State Gives Kwame Brown 7mill

In what has to be the craziest thing I've heard in a LONG time Kwame "I suck at life" Brown somehow got the Golden State Warriors to give him SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS for one year.  While you can't knock the hussle and I'm never upset at a young man providing for self and family, we all know that basketball is not one of Kwame Brown's strong points and if you don't believe me listen to my man Steven A.

Brandon Roy to Retire

Unfortunately for Trailblazer fans Brandon Roy, star shooting guard is rumored to retire as early as December 9th.  During his short career Brandon showed that he had grand star power, with a beautiful touch, the ability to attack, and the determination that makes good player great it seemed the sky was the limit for Roy.  However, as undeniable as his talent was, the problematic recurrence of his knee problems was just as strong. A five year vet, Roy spent two of those years battling crippling injuries that left little cartilage between the bone in both his knees. If the rumors are true and Roy does retire I can honestly say, he was a joy to watch.  His spirit and tenacity outweighed his talent on all scales, and that is truly saying a lot.....so from hoopheadjunkies thanks for the highlights B.Roy, and bless.

Chapter 2: Naismith's Beard

Meanwhile, somewhere, at some secret location...a 10 foot sculpture made entirely of 24 karat Gold captures a man frozen time. A prim business cut lines the crown of a visionary with eyes of diamond covered by 100 % crushed jasper, burgundy, eyeglass frames. His chiseled chin points forward while his eyes look directly into the possibilities of man’s future. A four-in-hand knot lays snugly around a hulking neck, as rippling arms shine, lined in white gold to accentuate the bulging muscles at rise beneath the finely stitched gold leaf tweed of his Brooks Brothers suit.  His chest is a mountain of itself that sits directly above his powerful 16 pack abdomen. With a deflated basketball crushed in the grasp of his right hand, and his left hand pointing to the unknown, his exposed belt is lined in rubies. The power seized in his legs mirror that of a Greek god, while his moderately sized ivory tusk penny loafers irradiate reflecting the 15 buffs per day they receive.  Inside this secret location, David Stern stands beneath himself monitoring the 29 Scantily clad women, from 29 prestigious cities prancing about what can only be described as a castle, in NBA sponsored bathing suits, each donning a specific emblem of the 29 NBA franchises he has helped to expand, serving Chteau Petrus Pomerols, Pinot Noirs, Dom. Romane Contis, and Royal Demaris to business partners, owners, noblemen, Presidents, and dignitaries of very well off countries.

            “Mr. Stern” a small voice squeaks accompanied by a finger that can’t help but poke David’s shoulder.

            “What Thomas?”

            “Mr. Stern…I’ve…I’ve got some bad, well not so good news”

            “Well spit it out Thomas, you know I don’t enjoy waiting” David remarks, taking a long sip of Royal Demaris, and slapping that chipper Dallas Maverick wine girl on the bottom“I do love a champion.”

            “Well…well Mr. Stern, the f-f-f-former players of the greatest basketball league in the WORLD have announced they are going to start their own league” Thomas squeals bending his head in shame.

            “By the bristles of Jamie Naismith’s mustache”

            “James Naismith sir”

            “Don’t you dare correct me Thomas, not when I’m right and BY GOODNESS not when I’m wrong, ok?”

            “Y-y-y-y-yes sir”

            “Now, kick these people out, and put on my Biz Markie…I need to think.”

            “Y-y-y-es sir”

            In his study, sitting at a mahogany chair carved in the shape of a microfiber basketball made from countless undisclosed capitalizing bonuses David Stern stares at the gargantuan picture of Larry O’Brien hanging on the wall. His thoughts are bouncing about his hardwood floors like, well like a basketball. Baffled and quite frankly peeved David broods over his next course of action as NBATV, the child of his intellect, replays classic games you’d have to pay to see on the muted 80’’ TV that hangs to the left of him illuminating the otherwise darkroom.  Nobody Beats the Biz blares through speakers heard but not seen.

As the CD churns and David thinks a lightening thought strikes his mind “So respect the architect, as I begin to build, science and my reliance is on my rap, like Carl Lewis, I get to it, so let’s go the lap, NOBODY BEATS THE BIZ.”

It was decided there, if the UBA wanted to play ball it was going to be Hardball.  David J. Stern was a veteran in the professional league arena and it was time he showed it.  If these players wanted to pretend they were businessmen David was ok with that, it would be doubly fun to defeat them and have them crawling back crying for entry into the NBA! For a significant pay decrease, of course.

Chapter 1 below

http://hoopheadjunkies.blogspot.com/2011/11/breaking-news.html

Lockout Top Plays: Bon appetit

With NBA lockout now over, we probably won't be getting anymore exhibition games, so ballislife.com put together a clip of the TOP 50 plays.  There are a lot of nice clips on here...enjoy

Chapter 1: Breaking News

You’re hanging out with Pearl Gervin, the one and only, and if you’re just tuning in with HHJ radio… it’s been months since the NBA lockout turned sour and the entire 2011-2012 NBA season was cancelled.  We all figured a complete NBA lockout was eminent, but who knew the dictator-like actions David Stern and the owners would prompt a massive exodus of top NBA talents like Dwayne Wade, Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, and Kevin Durant.  In total 65 top tier NBA players have retired from the NBA. "If this is the way the league is going to operate, some of us don’t want to be a part of it" Derek Fisher remarked hours before he announced his retirement from the NBA. There has been much speculation since these world wind events started.  It would not be crazy to say that we as fans of the NBA, and fans of basketball just want to see great players play great basketball, but at this moment in time I wouldn’t be surprised if next season was cancelled in mad dash to replace the talent that’s been lost. I myself seem to drift into my living room every week night, sit in front of my big screen TV in my jammies and cry like a starving newborn with no teet while ESPN classic games stale the screen I yell at as if my strained vocal cords won’t annoy my lovely wife and will bring about a new ending to a game I’ve already watched 15 times.  It’s ridiculous, it’s simply ridiculous and we as fans shouldn’t have to--wait a minute, folks there has been a HUGE development.  We're going to Jake Shuttlesworth right now with this huge breaking news.  Jake, are you there, can you hear me Jake?

"I'm here Pearl, and have I got some news for our fans. I just got out of secured and very secret meeting filled with names like Derek Fisher, Theo Ratliff, Phil Jackson, Baron Davis and various other recent NBA retirees. And what I just heard was perhaps the last thing I expected Pearl. Months ago when the NBA lost the bulk of its major talent to a mass retirement no one really knew what was going on. Wait a minute here’s Dwayne Wade. Dwayne, would you mind summing up the just of what was just discussed in that meeting for the fans?”

            “Jake, yeah man, anything for HHJ.  But where’s that bowtie I sent you man?”

“Man you know I wore that thing to the Christmas party last year and got duck sauce all over it…I’m a sucker for duck sauce D what can I say? Anyway, word on that announcement Dwayne?”

“Oh yeah, I Dwayne Wade am proud to announce that myself the collective players and various other proponents have created a new professional basketball league, and that that league is the United Basketball Association."

“UBA? Dwayne if you don’t mind me asking, how is this even possible? I mean how did this even come together?

“Well Jake, it was obvious to me and many other players that our talent was not appreciated, and our fans were suffering because of it.  I believe it was Mid-October, we had a meeting with the league and we all left feeling frustrated. One of us, I think it was Brandon Jennings, said we should just start our own NBA. And it was kind of like, wow can we really do that? So we got together and played with some numbers, if we all donated a bit of our income to a pool and we’re willing to take some significant pay cuts at least for a few years our estimated gross potential was through the roof.”

“And it would be completely player friendly.”

“Right Jake.”

“So do you guys have any solid figures as far as number of games, teams and such?”

“We’re still hashing some numbers out, but we’re looking at 13-15 teams playing a 70 game season. We have a solid pool of talent and plan to begin tryouts in the very near future. All and all I’m really excited. We’ve got some great guys who’d love to be involved from coaches, to radio announcers, endorsers; we’ve really got a lot of avenues opening up.  I think people are going to be surprised when the season begins.  I really can’t wait.”

“I don’t think I’d be to far off in saying we’re all pretty excited to see UBA take off Dwayne, any last comments for the folks out there?”

“I just want you all to know that the UBA is here for you.  We’re going to offer quality basketball with reasonable ticket prices. The UBA first goal is to show the fans that we really care about and appreciate all it is they’ve done over the years Jake, without them there is no us.”

“That’s a beautiful sentiment Dwayne.  Thank you. Well this is Jake Shuttlesworth and you heard it here first the UBA is coming to town near you very soon. And I for one can’t wait, thanks Dwayne and back to you Pearl…aye D did you ever ask Gabby about her cousin for me? What? We still rolling…

A new professional league, where the fans come first, headed by the players? Ah sookie, sookie now. I hope all you listeners are prepared; I have a very good feeling about this. It just goes to show you, no one man is to powerful to lose it all in a flash. This is Pearl Gervin with HHJ radio saying: practice like its game time, and play like its life our death, until next time Bless.

Lebron's in the NFL!!! Sorta...

Maurice Jones-Drew pulled out a coldblooded TD celebration against the Cleveland Browns and their fans, in which he imitated a former fan favorite in the Cleveland, OH area....ouch

Wayne Brady Makes Bryant Gumbel Look Like Malcolm X

I'd love to add some witty sidebar to accentuate this vitriolic statement but B. Gumbel laid his game down quite flat.

NBA Fights

To celebrate the fact that the NBA and the players association refuse to act civilized and come to an agreement for the fans (the real people who pay their salaries) it seemed only right to post some great NBA fights.  Pay no attention to the poor commentary by random man, and enjoy!!! Shouts out to David Stern

NBDL Tryouts: Pay to Play...

The NBDL in correlation with Boost Mobile is holding its fifth annual league tryouts. On September 24th in Chicago and Los Angeles you can (possibly) tryout for the chance to be a part of the NBDL. Hopeful participants are to pay a $150 participation fee along with a $4.50 processing fee online or by money order.

Now I don't know much about forming leagues, but I do know that in my history of playing roundball I have NEVER had to pay to tryout for a team on any level.  Players trying out are doing the league as much of a service as the league is doing the players. Who knows, these tryouts could provide the next NBA superstar, or the one hundred and fifty dollars coupled with whatever plane and hotel fees accrued from out of town travelers fees could leave that player with a huge decision to make;  go for broke (literally) to find his dream or stay home and pay for the many fees that come with living. I myself am a little skeptical and a bit appalled at the fees to say the least.  This isn't a superstar dream camp...its a tryout you shouldn't pay to tryout. I'm sorry.

If you'd like to sign up you can do so at http://www.nba.com/webAction?actionId=surveyInitializeIntegrated&target=/dleague/tryouts/registration.jsp&surveyId=1888

Bosh Optimistic

Patience is a Virtue

Chris Bosh believe the Heat will begin team workouts very soon in preparation for a new NBA season.

"We're going to make some plans. We're going to plan to do something," Bosh said in a telephone interview from Los Angeles. "I think just getting around each other, I think it's important as far as team-building is concerned and just getting something going. We're pretty much still in the process of doing that."

The Heat, who were beaten pretty badly in this past seasons NBA finals could probably use all the team building exercises they can get. The big three preformed like the big 1 and a half as the Mavericks showed themselves victorious. Hopefully they'll start those exercises fairly soon

The NBA has entered its third month of negotiations with the players association with no end in sight.  Many players have opted to go overseas and share their talents, while others have turned to exhibition games and applying at Home Depot.

NBA/ Players Meeting

Can't we all just get along?

For the first time since August 1st, (I know amazing right) representatives from the NBA and the players asssociation will meet to discuss whatever amounts of money are keeping fans from enjoying basketball games. Hopefully there is some headway made, although I strongly doubt it.  If this lockout happens I will be very upset; very, very upset.

Javaris Crittenton Murder Trial Update

Appearing before a court for the first time today Crittenton voluntarily waived his extradition option. Crittenton who still maintains his innocence, will be returned to Georgia to face his Atlanta murder charge. I'm still waiting on more details to come out in this case.  The only evidence let free to the public that implies Crittenton has any guilt is the fact that he was robbed by one of the men in the crosslines of the murderous shots and the fact that he left the ATL.  I'm going to need a bit more before I label him a vicious killer.

Putting on a Show

Lebron, Kevin and Carmelo recently participated in another of this summer's star studded exhibition games.  KD dropped 59 pts, but Melo and Bron Bron crept out with the victory.  File these highlights under "basketball fans just want to watch basketball games." Thank you for all the players putting on these games in spite of the NBA operating like a spoiled child.

Javaris Crittenton Arrested in California

In a follow up, Javaris Crittenton who is still on the roster for the NBDL's Dakota Wizards and has been on the run from police since August 18th was arrested in Southern California.  The arrest went on without incident and it is believed Crittenton was on his way to turn himself in. Crittenton was arrested at the John Wayne airport while trying to board a flight to Atlanta where he is wanted for the murder of twenty-two year old Jullian Jones.

Crittenton's lawyer Brian Steel alleges his clients innocence stating "He's not guilty, we look forward to getting it in the courts."

It is unsure whether Crittenton will make a appearance before federal court or be taken directly to Atlanta to face state charges.

The murder comes in the wake of robbery of which Javaris found himself the victim. It is believed Javaris was looking for revenge when he allegedly pulled a drive by on two men he believed were the perpetrators.  Unfortunately, the two men where in the company of Jullian Jones, a twenty-two year old mother of four.

Crittenton Arrested NBA.com

Artest Name Change Delayed

It seems  humanity will have to wait just a bit longer to see (Metta) World Peace.   Ron Artest's bid to change his name has been delayed by the Los Angeles court commission until September 16th because of outstanding traffic warrants. I for one say for shame Los Angeles court commission, for shame!!!! What has Ron Artest done to you but bring happiness championship ring and comic relief?

http://www.nba.com/2011/news/08/26/artest-name-change.ap/index.html

Oh My...Javaris, Javaris

You kind of saw this coming a couple years ago.  Remember Javaris Crittenton...oh you don't, well remember a little incident involving Gilbert Arenas, there was some cards, some gambling, Arenas had a pistol (four to be exact) and Javaris pulled his pistol.  This behavior later aided in Javaris not being resigned by the Wizards. Fast forward to today the now ex-NBA player is wanted for murder. Witnesses say Crittenton was robbed by a group of indivduals and decided to seek retribution.  August 19th he almost found it when he say to men he believed were part of the group that robbed him.  Crittenton attempted to drive-by and shoot the men but ended up shooting Jullian Jones, a mother of four, in the leg. Jones later died during surgery.

Javaris is now on the run.  SWAT has executed a search warrant of Crittenton's however, he was smart enough not to be there.  The story continues to develop as police look for the "crazed indivdual" who to me just seems like someone who made a very stupid mistake.  This is the classic example of a person leaving the life behind but not being able to seperate themselves from the lifestyle.  Crittenton's talents as a player could have provided so much for him, but the choice he made about manhood, or revenge, or whatever have led him to a path that will only lead to a couple of place; the grave, or the cage.

Not Another One: The Delonte West Files

Another failed attempt at rap music maybe he needs something to do on his off time from Home Depot...Sorry Delonte

HEY DOORMAN! Mitch "The Rock" Richmond

Mitch "The Rock" Richmond nicknamed because of his rock solid performance day and day out was a force to be reckoned with.  Never overly fancy or flashy Mitch flat out got the job done. The number 5 first round draft pick of Golden State Warriors, Mitch formed "Run TMC" alongside Tim Hardaway, and Chris Mullins, using a shoot em up style of play perfect for the Don Nelson offense archetype. He avg 22+ points per game in Golden State until he was traded to the Sacramento Kings where he led the team in scoring for 7 straight seasons. Mitch retired after winning a ring with the Los Angeles Lakers in 2002 and is now a talent scout for the Golden State Warriors. Few players have played with the spirit and consistency Mitch displayed in the league, he was a professional and role model without having to state it, actions speak for themselves.